"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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