Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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