she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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