I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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