How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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