she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
