That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
