Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize