I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
