what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
