It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
