My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
