Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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