Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
