She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
