Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
3pm strippers are depressing
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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