Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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