Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
