if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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