i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
