the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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