So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
North Korea, Best Korea!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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