My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I need to calm my uterus...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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