his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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