So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
