Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
