I just pynch a tree in the face
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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