New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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