When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
