Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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