Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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