His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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