Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It was like giving head to a cactus.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
