Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
