that's an acceptable place to lick
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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