Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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