Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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