Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
