the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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