I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
