I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
