and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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