Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
