then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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