I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
