I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
