There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I could fuck to npr.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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