Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
