The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i barfeds in our rink
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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