matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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