i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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