Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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