Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
