I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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