i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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