Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
