Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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