We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
