Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
