Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
