Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So much Jack, so little girl.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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