glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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