I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
