Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
